Friday, October 1, 2010

Something to ponder

So, it's been a couple of days since my last post. I have been busy applying for jobs since I was laid off from my last job. There are plenty of positions out there but they all seem to want you to have a ton of experience, education and talent...but want to pay you peanuts for it. What's up with that?

Let me ask you this...have you ever been lied to? I mean a big lie. Not what I call a "white lie".

Hmmm lets look at the difference.

White Lie - a lie of omission, exaggeration or embellishment.

You know what I mean here right?

For example: You went to an event and you exaggerated how many people and how much fun you had. You neglected to mention that you went home and vomited half the night because you drank just a "little" too much; but tell your friends it was the 'best night ever'!

No one gets hurt by your "white lie".

Big Lie - intentionally leading someone astray to cover your ass or to ensure you get what you want at the other person's expense.

For example: Your boss brings you in the office to let you know that while it is very difficult and they hate to do it; the money just isn't there right now and they have to trim their expenses and that means they have to let you go. If there was any other way to cut costs they would; but there just isn't and they are going to have to get by without your help. They will assist you in any way they can as an reference and if things change they will definitely give you a call. That you will be missed.

Now...that sounds as gentle of a "let go" as it gets doesn't it?

But here is the truth as you know it.

You were barely out the door when they brought in someone else who will work for less than you will and your chair wasn't even cold when they showed the new gal around her new work space!

Integrity is a wonderful thing isn't it? When you meet someone you automatically credit them with loads of integrity. It's an automatic thing and it's kind of just one of those 'assumed' things in life. Time goes on and without a doubt there are some little chinks gouged into the shield of that person's integrity. Either by action or word they show little bits of questionable behavior. Is this acceptable? I guess it all depends on who you are and what you find acceptable.

I am too trusting. I admit that. I want to see the good in everyone. I made a choice a very long time ago to see the good in all situations. The bad is just to damn easy to latch onto and suck you down into an abbis of negativity. So I see the good or the humour in almost all situations and I will give the benefit of a doubt until such a time I cannot. The surest way to lose the benefit of a doubt with me is to blatantly lie to me. I will look at you sideways after that.

I don't like confrontation but if need be I will confront anyone who lies to me at my expense...and that is where I find myself right now.

Scenario number two is what just has happened to me. I just found out last night that I was lied to when I was let go. The quandary is this... what to do about it....this is the person I am reliant upon for a reference to get another position...and yet their word means nothing to me at this point in time. The other side of the coin is that this person, while being my boss had one level of respect and on the other side as a person I liked her. It's so disappointing the realize that my entire perception of this person was SO wrong.

So here I am arranging for job interviews, reliant upon a person, who in my opinion, has no integrity at all and wondering if my perception of people is that "off" that at the ripe old age of 46 I can't trust my perception to tell me who is completely lacking in integrity?

So here I sit on a bright and sunny Friday morning replaying conversations and reviewing this person's actions over the last 9 months in my mind and questioning my ability to read people...something up until last evening I misguidedly thought I was very good at.

Thanks for stopping by to hear me rant everyone. I hope you have a great weekend. I am going to work on throwing this out into the universe for resolution. I know I don't have the ability to change this person's actions. So I need to change my way of thinking. After all, I am the only person I have control of in this world, right?

Hugz to one and all,

Sunshine :~D


  1. Wow. That just sucks. BIG TIME. On the one hand, letting someone down "easy" can be considered the polite thing to do....but when a big fat lie comes along with it, it's cruel. The least your boss could have said to you was that money was tight and they were looking at cutting the budget, and decided they would have to pay you less in order to meet their budget cuts....and then given you the CHOICE of whether to stay or go. It still would have been shitty...but at least it would have been UP FRONT.

    Grrrr....I can't stand dishonesty.

  2. Well doesn't that just bite! thats a crock of you know what!! I can't stand people like that, and I have a tendency to let them know how I feel about them. Something will come along, and in the long run, it will have been for the good of everyone. In the meantime, pray that I find something else, cuz I wanna tell my "little" boss where to go! :)